Growing up in my broken and dysfunctional home in Los Angeles I worked really hard to tray and make sure everyone was happy. This was especially true with my parents. I knew if they were happy that they might fight less and then my life would be better maybe even happy. I really believed that if I could minimize their conflicts our situation would get better without ever addressing the the real issues in front of me. My parents had some serious relational struggles in their life and in their marriage that never got better. This was home scarred by violence and abuse of substances. This was a very unhealthy situation. Sadly, even after I left the house I still carried this dream that if I could make people happy things would get better for them and me. It wasn't until I realized that happiness is a difficult goal to achieve. It is moving target.
I learned that happiness is ultimately subjective and emotional. So I switch my goal from finding happiness for people to helping people find healthiness. Emotionally healthy, relationally healthy and spiritually healthy.
What I learned from my parents is that trying to make unhealthy people happy can kill you. It's like hearding cats! It can seem like continuously giving to a bottomless pit for years with little to no result to show for it. Helping people get healthy is totally different and much more rewarding for everyone involved. People who are getting healthy relationally make progress in their relationship. People who are becoming healthy emotionally tend to start being able to have control in their life and are no longer controlled by their emotions. People who are getting healthy spiritually recognize that God's call requires them to continue to grow and change, to ultimately become more like Jesus everyday. These spiritually healthy folks are able to live in truth and in grace at the same time.
There are days when I still want to pick up my old happy hammer and try to make everyone happy, then I remember happy follows healthy. When we allow God to bring healing and health to our hearts a byproduct of that I believe is happiness. Not just happiness but confidence and trust and hope and peace and security..... So pray with me as we pray for health for ourselves and for the world.
Jeremiah 33:6 “‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.
God's love is always True